Saturday, August 26, 2006

ULTRACHRIST!

Jonathan C. Green Ultrachrist! Directed by Kerry Douglas Dye
Starring John C. Green
Reviewed by Byron Merritt


HESITANT THUMBS UP!

A HESITANT THUMBS UP B-MOVIE FILM REVIEW RATING!

Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s ...ULTRACHRIST!

Flipping religion on its head, Ultrachrist seeks to enlighten the follies of following scripture to the letter by returning Christ to Earth 2,000 years after his death. Oh! And he’s come back to usher in peace for all mankind. The trouble is that he’s completely out of touch with modern society. As soon as Christ returns (ala The Terminator style), he realizes many things have changed: clothes, personal philosophy, neon signs, and, oy!, religion.

Christ (Jonathan C. Green) gets a crash course in what the world wants by first bellying up to a bar with a drunken man and discovering what’s become of humanity. Discouraged but not deterred, he soon runs into Molly (Celia A. Montgomery), a young seamstress who falls for Jesus and decides to help him regain his ministry on Earth. She makes him a superhero spandex costume and poof!, the Ultrachrist is born. Running around New York in his new outfit, Christ diverts sin wherever it appears, but no one is heeding his words...

Perhaps sin needs redefining.

God (
Don Creech, GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK) doesn’t like what his son is doing on Earth so sends down Ira, the Patron Saint of Erotic Massage, to get rid of Jesus’ ridiculous costume and to set his son back on the path of righteousness. But Ira’s attempts are hindered by his own Earthly desires and by The Devil (aka, The Parks Commissioner).

Satin (Samuel Bruce Campbell, THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH), not happy that Jesus has finally returned, resurrects some of the meanest and most evil people the world has ever known (from Hitler to ...uh ...Jim Morrison?)

But Beelzebub is the least of the Ultrachrist’s problems. He must overcome the "sin of sex," something he’s been unable to do since witnessing his mother "get-down" with another man (if Jesus gets "excited", his hands bleed).

With Ira’s, Molly’s, and his father’s help, Jesus changes the sin rule book and thus helps banish all of the foes thrown at him by Lucifer.

This low-budget flick isn’t for everyone. Those who find religious satire revolting or insulting most certainly should NOT watch it. If you don’t like B-movie production standards, avoid it. But if you like to chuckle at the ridiculousness of religious fanaticism, this is something you most surely should check out.


The production standards are okay but nothing to praise. The acting is equally tepid. The script, however, is quite good. Ira belongs on the set of Seinfeld, and Jesus would be right at home in a rough Brooklyn neighborhood (i.e., his accent). But these things also added to the humor of the movie. It’s not supposed to be taken seriously and doesn’t attempt it ...which I found absolutely great!

If you've seen and enjoyed FILM GEEK
, SPACEMAN, or other minimal budget films, this one is right up your alley.

Click here for the Ultrachrist movie trailer!

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