HUGE THUMBS UP FILM REVIEW RATING!
It is with great joy that The Film Review Stew was able to reach Dorat, the second cousin of Borat, and get his input on this new film that is sweeping box offices around the globe. His perspectives on the movie are unique to those from Kazakhstan and we hope that you enjoy this guest review.
(Note: the commentary by Dorat is in no way supported or condoned by those of us at The Film Review Stew, and do not necessarily represent our world-view opinions.)
Hello! Is Dorat here. Can you hear me? Hello? Oh. I guess this one-way conversation, so I talk at you and you listen. Okay? Hello?
Okay. I come speak today of movie, Borat. My second cousin from Kazakhstan make documentary and I love it. It touch my heart. I need say, too, that Borat’s sister now #2 prostitute in all of Kazakhstan. Her trophy bigger now. Her lips like Juicy Fruit gum. You know Juicy Fruit? Hello? Okay.
When Borat leave Kazakhstan, we worry he make us look stupid. But he did great job. His house nice place, too. He show how it stand almost straight and have room for beautiful cow in livingroom. I need say, too, there was rumor Borat’s wife die. Is not so. She fall in love with man from Siberia and go north with him. She may be dead now but don’t think so.
Borat come to New York City on plane with Azamat, other Kazakhstan man who help Borat along way. It scary Americans on subway not kiss Borat back when he greet them. What wrong with Americans? Hello? You still listening? Okay. I worried, too, that Borat’s Kazakhstan chicken get stomped on subway when she got out of bag. But not happen. Whew!
It nice to see so many good places to relieve bowels in America. The flowers in front of place called Trump Towers was pretty and open.
On early visit, Borat run into man who teach him about jokes in America. It strange, too, that Americans do not joke of retards. They so stupid, you must make jokes. And what is happening with feminism. Is that right word? Hello? Okay. Borat speak true about womans smaller brains. Scientific study in Kazakhstan prove it. Don’t know why those womans so upset with Borat for speaking true.
Television in America look very nice. And is place where Borat fall in love with Pameela Anderson. I would sex her up as good as my own sister, too. But Borat should not have lie to Azamat about why they go to California. He should have said to Azamat, "We go California so I can sex up and marry Pameela."
The trip across America was fun and scary. I love bear they get for protection. Too bad Azamat get so hungry later. Poor bear. At least they no have to clean bear poop now. I not know, too, that American Jews no have horns. Is most scary! When Borat and Azamat stay at Jew home and not know until too late. Brrrr! I thought documentary turn into horror film. But I cheer when Borat and Azamat get out of Jew home safely in middle of night.
When Azamat and Borat get into huge fight, was sad. But Azamat should not been masturbate to Pameela’s picture. They wrestle and fight and run through hotel. Naked fighting is tough, because no clothes to hang on to. When Azamat pinned Borat to bed and make mustache smell like testicles, was sad day for Borat.
It good that they return to friends soon. I surprised, though, that Azamat dress like Hitler in California. Was he trying to hide?
When Borat finally meet Pameela, it sadden me she not understand Kazakhstan way of marriage proposal. Kidnap is natural courting. I sure Borat should explain that to Pameela if given opportunity.
I happy to see Borat return home to Kazakhstan. He bring Luenell back with him, too, and she now #1 prostitute in all Kazakhstan. Borat sister now have competition.
I take away from movie pride all Kazakhstan people feel for country. We have representative in Borat. He a man who know the cultural learnings of America for make benefit glorious nation of Kazakhstan.